Good Grief!

Well, it has been a really long time since I updated...and I apologize. The last year has been a blur. But it has been wonderful!!

I last journaled at the end of July, meaning that A LOT has happened since then. I began school at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary (PTS) in September. I love it there. Okay, it's not perfect, but it's where I need to be right now. I hate to bad-mouth Grove City (which I sometimes do anyway), but I couldn't have been happier to get out of there. I must say that, yes, I learned a great deal from the institution and it prepared me well for Seminary; and it deeply impacted my spiritual life, albeit often leading me away from its rather staunch, conservative stance on everything to a more moderate position on things. For me, Pittsburgh has been a welcomed change, where I feel more able to express my self, and a place which has helped me to gain more self-confidence. Very often GCC left me feeling like I was not smart enough nor gifted enough to be what God has called me to; Pittsburgh has helped to show me that I am indeed capable and called, and I have more one on one connections with professors, who also have been extremely encouraging. I also struggled a lot to make friends at Grove City, especially during my freshman year. I also struggled with my school work, and both of those created a difficult situation at the Grove. Still, as I look back, I gained some wonderful things from GCC: 1) a good education; 2) insight into one particular worldview, even though it is one I sharply react against at times; and 3) some of the most amazing friends I could have ever made, including some really great former roommates (one of whom came to visit me just this weekend). So, I guess all in all, it wasn't all horrible, although I don't know how often the place frustrated and consumed me.

But Pittsburgh has its frustrations and its limitations also. But I think it will train me well, and it has caused me to reexamine myself, my faith and my worldview. The two institutions have had a powerful impact on me, enabling me to, for the first time in my life, actually like myself for who I am, and have "confidence in [my] abilities" (to quote Dr. Tuell). But my struggles in life have taught me humility, love, and grace, three virtues I wish all Christians would exhibit above all others. Not that I'm perfect, because we all know I'm not, but I feel like I really learned the most powerful and valuable lesson of my life when I learned these things through my struggles.

But, life is more than school. I know that's hard to imagine, but it is. There's home. Gosh, do I love living at home again. Not in the same house with my parents (cause that would make me nuts), but being here on the farm. I love that I am sitting on my porch, listening to James Taylor (for me, the music of summer), staring across the hay fields as the sun is setting, turing the blue horizion to an orangish-purple color. The smell of summer is in the air, and I am sitting here watching the hummingbirds fighting over the feeder on my porch. My flowers are planted, and everything is so green. I don't ever want to leave, and I pray that God will use me somewhere around here, instead of making me move somewhere. Yes, I'm willing to do whatever, but I really think, for now at least, He wants me here. I want to be here, things are going well here, and I have a peace in my relationship with God that I have not had for a long time. I feel like I am in the prime of my life and exactly where I need to be. Now if I could just drop like 50 lbs and find a girlfriend, I'd be in great shape...but that's another story... ;-) All in all, things couldn't be more perfect.

And I am still at Bessemer Presbyterian Church. In fact, I am doing my field education there, and just signed another one year contract. Plus, they are giving me an additional $3600 for professional expenses to be used toward school and church, so that's a nice raise! Well, as for the church, here is what has happened over the last year. We have made some real progress. We added four new members to our rolls, and we baptized two little ones. We've had some folks return to the church after a hiatus, and a few new folks start coming, and I hope we can add more to our membership again soon.

The two greatest lessons I've learned over the past year are about God's faithfulness and the power of resurrection in life. First, I've watched God change a church from one that thought death was knocking on its door to one that feels a renewed sense of life and vitality. It's apparent when they gather for worship, and its contagious. I bring visitors in not really to hear me preach, but to let me know what they think of the church. What is apparent is that we are very friendly and welcoming, and you can tell Jesus is present by His Spirit, because it shows in the congregation's actions. Granted, sometimes we get frustrated, we lose faith and feel worn down; but in those moments, God has been faithful, and renewed our strength that we might soar on wings as eagles (Is. 40). To me, this is what resurrection looks like: passing from death to new life. To me, this is God's faithfulness.

I think the key to having a healthy church is the same as the key to having a healthy faith: listening to and following God. It seems so easy, and yet it is so hard. But by doing that very thing, by getting back to the basics of what the church is and why it exists has done wonders. It has given me a renewed sense of what my calling is and what ministry looks like. Too many churches let programs and the like get in the way. To me, the early church had it right when it stressed a community of faith, and I believe that is what will make Bessemer strong again: committing to being the body of Christ, the hands and feet of Christ, going out into the world instead of drawing people in. It takes time for such ideas to take shape in peoples' lives, but they do in time.

So far, his has been happening in two ways. First, we started what we call a "Bus Stop Ministry." Basically, three mornings a week, several folks from the church open the doors and give the kids morning snacks. It was a little awkward at first, but the twenty-five kids who get on for both the elementary and high schools have opened up to us, and we feel a connection with them. If you could see the faces of folks from the church when they talk about those kids, you know why God has called us to do this: to share the love of Christ with these kids, and for Christ to teach us about love through these kids. It's amazing. The second thing we have done is to start a children's ministry called the "Builders' Club." It meets two Friday mornings a month during the summer to help the kids build life skills (sewing, cooking, planting, etc.), build relationships, and to build faith. We had five kids on Friday, and we had a blast. We are thinking we may have up to twenty-five this week! Please pray that we do, and that they are particularly kids that don't go to church anywhere else, so that we might reach them with the Gospel. But in any case, that is going well so far. It was an uphill struggle with it, but all in all, things are working out and I think there is a lot of potential.

And so I know Bessemer will survive its people keep their faith and trust in God and goes out into the community to serve and share the love of Christ. So many are praying for us, and things are really going well. I know God is in all of this, and I only hope that things continue to go well.

So, let's see, I also went to Italy last summer and to Israel this spring. Both were phenomenal, and for different reasons. I'll perhaps write more about them later. But let that's suffice for now.

Well, I've written enough for now. I should finish studying for Hebrew (my summer class I'm taking), but I think I'll sit here and enjoy this beautiful summer evening on my porch. I never want to leave...but whatever. Hope this post finds you well, and that God's blessings rest upon you tonight, wherever you are. Good night!


In Christ,

Nathan